Once upon a time a group of men and women gathered to plant a church in their neighborhood. But this was going to be a church different from all other churches.
You see Happy Church was to be built upon people who were disgruntled with all the bickering and fighting they had experienced in other churches. Happy Church was going to be characterized by love, unity, and sound teaching.
Twenty people, ten men and ten women unrelated, gathered in John’s living room to discuss how to pull off that which has never been experienced—true happiness in the church. John opened the meeting with prayer which ruffled a few feathers. Who put him in charge some muttered to themselves? Why a man and not a women others sighed? But this is Happy Church, so just let it go.
John welcomed everyone with a joyful grin and began by asking the gathering if there were any issues that needed to be put on the table at the outset. Nancy, after raising her hand, said, “I assume the five points of Calvinism will be the bedrock of our teaching.” There were audible gasps throughout the room. “Surely you are kidding,” Tom blurted out. Nancy was quick to find the door as she left in a huff.
“Better off without her,” could be heard from some members. John was quick to bring things back to order, and everyone settled back in their seats knowing that a spirit of divisiveness was now gone. “Are there any serious matters before we move on,” John queried. Tim jumped in and said, “I do hope hymns will be a priority. These silly praise songs drive me crazy with such shallow theology.” Martha was deeply offended since she led worship at her last church and used praise songs to reach the younger generation. She was brought to tears.
Visceral expressions of anger began to take over the meeting. John tried to calm things down when one of the members noted a wine rack tucked back in John’s study.
The volume rose as Pete expressed disdain for alcohol and said he could never be part of a church where alcohol was permitted. Others launched in and called Pete a legalist. Verses for and against wine were being volleyed back and forth. Other issues began to spontaneously surface and the vitriol was quickly putting a damper on Happy Church, as everyone left very sad.