Four men enter the produce section of a local grocery store.
Though none of these men know each other, they are all strong followers of Christ. They travel in different circles and attend different churches but have an abiding faith that gives them direction and wisdom for living. As they gather around the display of fruit, each begins to make an assessment of what the Lord would have him purchase.
The Charismatic wants to be sure that he is Spirit led. He is mesmerized by the selection and lays hands on the fruit he believes to be anointed. Under his breath he utters, “Praise Jesus,” and heads for the checkout lane.
The Mystic waits patiently for the inner voice of God to direct him. He has a vision of the exact fruit and makes what he is sure is an impeccable choice.
Confident in the sovereignty of God, the Calvinist is assured of making the right selection since it was foreordained before the foundations of the world. He only need concern himself with God getting all the glory and the purchase being gospel-centered and not moralistic. How could he possibly go wrong with such robust theology?
The Dispensationalist has but one question: “Is purchasing such delectable produce biblically sanctioned prior to the Rapture?” Certain that it is, he reaches for the perfect fruit.
Each man heads to his respective home rejoicing in what he is certain was a God-ordained purchase, only to be greeted with bad news from his wife saying the local news channel has sent out a warning that local produce has been contaminated with a dangerous pesticide and is not suitable for consumption.
Disappointed, each man opens the cavernous jaws of his garbage can and watches the contaminated fruit, escorted by gravity, make its way to the bottom, along with some bad theology.